


Arrangements of shapes and space.

by hyemiyah



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 18:53:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5302898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyemiyah/pseuds/hyemiyah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the midst of a crisis, Junmyeon starts to be a little selfish.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Arrangements of shapes and space.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jasminesighs (itanejiluver)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/itanejiluver/gifts).



> Warning: Mentions of former member Kris/Wu Yifan and his departure from the group.
> 
> Thank you Reeza, for helping me at the last minute. You're amazing!  
> Dear recipient,  
> I honestly hope this suits your fancy!

"Stop it!"

Out of the corner of his eye, Junmyeon can see Luhan standing on the door frame, frowning. He stops staring at the papers scattered on the kitchen table and pretends he was actually doing something better than worrying himself uselessly.  He wonders if Luhan can read his mind.

"Ah. Luhan. You're still up."

Luhan just stares at him. He is still standing there, not entering the kitchen area. It may be the mess that Junmyeon has made on the table. Luhan's room is always pristine. He hates when people so much as lay a single finger on his bed. Junmyeon's room, meanwhile, is a mess. Baekhyun always threatens Junmyeon and Sehun to move out to the living room; he can't stand their messiness any longer.

"Just stop," Luhan says, softer this time. Junmyeon has always liked his accent. "It wasn't your fault."

Of course it wasn't Junmyeon's fault. It wasn't no one's fault. Or more like, if there is someone to blame, it's the company. The rotten way this industry works.

 "I know," Junmyeon says. Luhan finally enters the kitchen area and sits across Junmyeon. Papers showing stocks plummeting, headlines asking if their band burnt out too fast and too soon between them. There's a picture of Junmyeon collecting the first prize for a music show, alone. Junmyeon realises he can't even recognise his own face anymore. "I just wish he would have told us sooner. I thought we were friends." 

 "Yeah," Luhan admits. He doesn't sound sad, or bitter. Maybe he knew. He didn't cry tears of anger or throw a temper tantrum like Zitao did. He didn't retreat into his bedroom and stayed quiet like Minseok did. He didn't shrug it off like Jongdae did. He didn't look sad and defeated like Yixing did. Instead he put a hand on Junmyeon's shoulder and told him they'd figure things out. "I mean, I know why he did it. I just... don't like the way he did it."

Luhan didn't know a thing, Junmyeon thinks. In fact, Yifan probably really didn't tell anybody anything. Part of Junmyeon wants to blame him, but another part of him, the part that knew Yifan, knows he must have had his reasons.

But now Yifan is gone and it's up to Junmyeon to take care of the mess he left behind. And Junmyeon is finding it incredibly hard. He had always relied on Yifan, even if Junmyeon was the leader when they were 12. Yifan was just a natural leader. It took Junmyeon forever to get the kids together in one place, but all Yifan had to do was raise his voice a little and tell the children to shut up and listen.

"You're doing it again. Stop it, Junmyeonah." Luhan's voice brings Junmyeon back to reality.

"I'm just tired," Junmyeon says, rubbing his eyes so he doesn't have to meet Luhan's gaze.

"Yeah, and you're also thinking Yifan was a better leader, aren't you? That maybe you should've been the one to leave, even if you trained the longest. Why do you torture yourself like this?" There's no anger or resentment in Luhan's voice, only concern... and something else. Something Junmyeon can't pinpoint.

Junmyeon laughs, but he sounds sad and heartbroken. The bags under Luhan's eyes have got worse these past few days. He doesn't look like a bright and cheerful teenage boy like he always does. He just looks old and tired, so incredibly tired. Maybe he's mirroring Junmyeon.

A sigh. "I'm sorry," Junmyeon says.

"Don't. It wasn't your fault. No one blames you." There's finality in Luhan's voice. And Junmyeon has the mad desire to kiss him, right there. But he doesn't. He couldn't. 'I had a crush on Luhan,' he blurted out on their debut showcase. He never mentioned he still does. Now more than ever.

Luhan smiles, then. His eyes sparkle a bit, and Junmyeon is reminded of what made him fall for him in the first place. It was the way Luhan carried himself, always polite and friendly. Curious about everything, like a small kid. "I'm Lu Han," he had said, the first time they met. Junmyeon thought he was younger than him. "Were you the one singing in there? You have a really nice voice. I need to practise a lot." He always complimented people like it was normal. And he had grabbed unnoticed, oftentimes underappreciated trainee Kim Junmyeon's heart that first meeting, and he had never let go. Junmyeon never let him.

But now Junmyeon is tired. "You need to stop doing these things to me," he whispers to the air. He can't look Luhan in the eye. He's blushing, and probably on the verge of tears. Seven years of his life and everything could be over in the morning. "I'll get the wrong idea."

Junmyeon feels the heaviness of Luhan's gaze, so he stands up abrutly. Too flustered to look up. But he doesn't reach the door. Luhan puts his hand between Junmyeon's body and the doorframe.

"Are you an idiot?" He asks.

'Yes,' Junmyeon wants to answer, but he is unable to speak or even look up. Luhan puts his other hand on the wall, trapping Junmyeon. When he finally musters up the courage to meet Luhan's eyes, Junmyeon notices he's blushing, too. And he wonders if they're still talking about Yifan, about the possibility of disbandment, or worse, having to welcome a new member. He wonders if Luhan's talking about their future, and how it could not be there the next morning.

"What are you talking about?" Junmyeon says. His entire body burns, he can feel the warmth of Luhan's body so close to him.

Luhan laughs, but he doesn't take his hands of the wall or his eyes off Junmyeon. "Are you an idiot? How long are you going to make me wait?"

Junmyeon opens his mouth to say something, but Luhan kisses him before he manages to say anything. Luhan's lips are chapped, but they're still soft and so warm. And for the first time in days, months, years, Junmyeon lets go completely. He stops worrying about the future and savours the present. This moment. Luhan kissing him like nothing else matters anymore, and maybe it's true. Maybe nothing matters, but this. _Them._

"We'll be okay, Junmyeonah," Luhan says. He takes Junmyeon's hand and pulls him into another kiss. And Junmyeon believes him. They'll be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from Arrangements of shapes and space, by Camera Obscura.


End file.
